Has my time come and gone? Am I going through a mid-life crisis? What is it that makes me want to be in a relationship? And, it's not even a matter of wanting to get laid. I want someone with whom I can spend my free time. Yes, I'm talking about all that corny crap like holding hands, snuggling on the couch. You know... Having someone to come home to. I sometimes joke that I'm terminally single. It's no joke. I'm so single and I've been single for so long that it's killing me.

Granted, I don't want someone who thinks I have to call her everyday to prove that I like her. But, she doesn't mind if I do. I want that kind of relationship where we can spend time together without the need for talking. We can sit on the couch - her on one end, me on the other, each reading or knitting or whatever.

Like I said, it's not even about wanting to get laid. Yes, sex is very important to me, but it's not the only thing I want from a relationship. I've gotten to the point where I see a woman I'm attracted to, and I automatically start thinking about whether or not we would get along. I start thinking stuff like, "Would we be able to sit in silence without it being uncomfortable?" Or, "Would she try to change me? Or, would she accept me for how I am?"

I want to be happy with the person I'm with and I want her to be happy with me - no matter what.


Earlier today, I mentioned that, in order to get over the 26 year old girl that I've been crushing on, I needed to find another girl to crush on. The truth is, I need to get over crushing on women. I don't need to be in a relationship. There's just something in my brain that makes me think that I need it. What I really need is to get used to being single and to be happy with being single. I also need to be happy with myself. I just need to stop looking and deal with being single.