Dearest Charter Cable,

I would greatly appreciate it if you would stop sending me stuff in the mail and calling me on the phone in an attempt to get me to subscribe to more of your services. I currently subscribe to your high-speed Internet and Cable TV services and that is all I need or want. Yes, I know you also provide home phone service and I'm sure it smells like Christmas and is the most wonderful home phone service out there but I'm not interested.

Oh and sending me an advert in an envelope marked "Important Information Enclosed" - and in a privacy envelope no less - just so I'll think it really is something important is just plain cheating. Shame on you, Charter, shame on you. That's as bad as people sending out emails with a heart-warming story about a kitten only to say at the end that the kitten will die if I don't forward the email to 10 of my friends. SHAME!!

Don't get me wrong. I really like your service. Other than the time we were having trouble with a handful of channels not being viewable on any of the 3 cable boxes in our house and "Bob" (in India) trying to get my wife to power cycle the cable box and to check the batteries in the remote (WTHF!?) and sending out a technician which we would have to pay for because there were no reported issues in our area only to be told the next day by the technician that we would not have to pay for the service call because there actually were reported issues in our area that they had been working on for the past couple weeks our experience with your service has been great (intentional run-on with no punctuation).